How to Reveal Your True Self and Step Into Your Power
Have you ever felt like every time you take a step toward your goal—one that requires you to reveal more of your true self—you suddenly retreat? One moment, you're excited about stepping into your purpose, and the next, you're shrinking back into your comfort zone. It’s frustrating, isn’t it? You’re not alone. Many people experience this pattern, and I’ve been there too.
Retreating into Hiding
I vividly remember times when I wanted to share my thoughts but would go along with the popular opinion instead. I was scared to be different. Every time I didn’t express what I really felt, it was like betraying myself. It felt icky and uncomfortable, and over time, it became a habit—a way of protecting myself from being seen as too different or risking rejection. But in doing so, I wasn’t being true to myself.
Does this sound familiar? You take a step toward your goal, excited and energized, but the moment it requires vulnerability or showing up authentically, you pull back. It’s not that you don’t want the goal—you do—but revealing your true self feels risky. Your nervous system kicks in, telling you it's safer to stay hidden.
Loss of Confidence, Resentment, and Frustration
When you stay hidden, it doesn’t just affect your goals—it affects your emotional well-being and relationships. Over time, not expressing yourself or following through on what you truly want leads to a loss of confidence. You stop trusting yourself, and that inner critic gets louder. Worse yet, it often spills over into your relationships.
When you're not honest with yourself, you can end up giving more than you want or bending to meet others' needs. This creates resentment. You feel drained, stuck, and maybe even a little bitter, wondering why things aren’t moving forward in your life. Relationships—both personal and professional—suffer because you're not fully present. The gap between where you are and where you want to be widens.
Your Nervous System is Wired to Keep You Safe
So why do we retreat when we’re so close to achieving our goals? It’s all about how our nervous system works.
The nervous system is designed to protect us from danger. Anytime we step out of our comfort zone—whether that’s being more authentic, voicing an unpopular opinion, or taking a big step toward a goal—our brain reads it as a potential threat. The primal part of your brain kicks in, releasing stress hormones like cortisol, and tells you to retreat to safety.
When you move into this “danger zone,” even if it’s only in your mind, your brain reacts as though you're in a life-threatening situation. Your heart races, you may feel tense or anxious, and before you know it, you've pulled back into your comfort zone where it feels safe. But staying hidden comes at a cost. Prolonged stress from holding back who you are can lead to health problems as those stress hormones build up in your body.
“I’m Not Ready Yet”
One of the biggest beliefs that keeps us in hiding is thinking, “I’m not ready yet.” You may think that once you’re more skilled, more confident, or better prepared, you’ll finally take that bold step. But here’s the truth: there’s no such thing as being fully ready. It’s a comforting lie we tell ourselves to avoid discomfort.
The good news is that this discomfort can be managed. It’s not about forcing yourself to leap into the unknown without fear—it’s about gradually expanding your comfort zone. As you do, you train your nervous system to recognize that showing up authentically isn’t dangerous. In fact, it’s the only way to achieve the life you truly desire.
Practice Seeing Your Whole Self in Your Goal
So, how do you break this cycle? One powerful way is to practice seeing yourself in your goal. Visualize your whole self—how you feel, what you’re doing, and how you’re being seen. This practice allows your nervous system and subconscious to become familiar with your new reality, making it less scary.
Here’s a step-by-step process to help you shift from hiding to showing up fully:
Step 1: Morning Visualization
Set aside 10 minutes each morning to visualize how you want to feel, interact, and move through your day. Picture yourself confident, speaking your truth, and taking bold steps toward your goals. Visualizing your day primes your nervous system for both the ups and downs ahead, making you more resilient.
Step 2: Practice Listening to Yourself Throughout the Day
Check in with yourself regularly. What do you really feel? What do you want? By practicing this inner listening, you start to tune in to your own desires and preferences, which helps you build self-trust.
Step 3: Safely State Your Desires and Preferences
In safe, low-risk situations, practice expressing your desires. It could be as simple as choosing what movie to watch with friends or stating your opinion in a meeting. The key is to get used to hearing your own voice and honoring what you want, even in small ways.
Step 4: Share with a Trusted Person
Find someone you trust to share your journey with. This person can be a friend, partner, or coach who will support you when you feel shaky. Having a support system makes it easier to step into discomfort and practice being seen.
Step 5: Start Small and Build Over Time
You don’t need to take giant leaps right away. Start small—one step at a time. As you build courage in smaller actions, you’ll find that your confidence grows, and soon you’ll be taking those bigger steps without needing to retreat.
Symptoms of Staying Hidden
If you’ve been stuck in this cycle of hiding, you might notice symptoms like:
Feeling stuck or stagnant in life and relationships
Resentment building from giving more than you want to
Focusing on fixing others instead of working on yourself
Lack of progress toward your goals despite your desire for change
You Can Break the Cycle
Breaking the habit of retreating into hiding takes practice, but the rewards are enormous. By visualizing your true self in your goals, listening to your desires, and taking small, courageous steps, you’ll train your nervous system to see that stepping into your power is not only safe but necessary for growth. The more you do this, the more natural it will feel to stand fully in who you are.
Remember, you don’t have to do this alone. If you’re ready to stop hiding and step fully into your authentic self, reach out. Let’s talk about how coaching can support you in breaking this cycle for good.
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